Coaching Vs. Managing Vs. Disciplining: Knowing Which One You’re Doing

Coaching Vs. Managing Vs. Disciplining: Knowing Which One You’re Doing

I’ve seen too many leaders call everything coaching because it sounds more appealing than saying what’s actually happening.

On a Saturday night, a line cook sent orders to the wrong station. Expo corrected him. The Sous Chef corrected him. I corrected him. Same mistake, same shift, same problem. By the end of the night, somebody called it coaching. It wasn’t coaching. It was a standard that should’ve been managed sooner, and if it had kept going, it was heading into discipline.

Coaching

Coaching is for somebody who can do the job but isn’t doing it cleanly yet.

Take Aaron, our weekend prep guy. He knew every spec on every menu item. But when tickets stacked up, he’d rush the proteins and send half-cooked chicken to the pass. I pulled him aside after service. Showed him the tickets. Walked him through the timing. Next shift, he nailed it. That was coaching. Specific fix for somebody who could handle it.

Managing

Managing is about the standard.

The prep has to be done. The side work has to be checked. The walk-in has to be stocked right because the opening team is not walking into yesterday’s mess and calling it a new day. That’s not a coaching conversation. That’s management.

A lot of leaders skip this because it feels less comfortable than coaching. They talk around the issue instead of setting the line and holding it. Then the floor keeps drifting, and everybody acts surprised when it gets ugly.

Disciplining

Discipline is for the person who already knows and keeps doing it anyway.

That’s what happened with Molly, our closing server. Third time in two weeks she’d lied about rolling silverware. The side bus station was full of unrolled sets. I called her into the office on her next shift. She knew the standard. She knew the close checklist. I wrote her up. Told her one more time, and she’s out. No long talk. No soft landing. That was discipline. She quit before the quarter was done. Fine by me.

That’s repeated behavior. That’s ignoring direction. That’s lying about the work. At that point, another talk isn’t fixing the problem. The problem is already bigger than the conversation.

This is where weak managers get exposed. They wait too long because they don’t want to be the bad guy. Then the rest of the team sees it and learns the rules only apply until somebody pushes back hard enough. That’s how you lose trust.

What I Look At

When I’m dealing with somebody, I ask one question. Is this a skill issue, a standard issue, or a behavior issue?

If it’s a skill, I coach.

If it’s a standard, I manage.

If it’s a behavior, I discipline.

That’s the cleanest way I know to handle it. The hard part is being honest enough to say what it is before you walk into the conversation.

Why It Matters

A team can handle a rough night. It can even handle a rough week. What it can’t handle is a manager who keeps mixing up development, accountability, and consequence.

People want to know where they stand. They want to know what’s expected and what happens when they miss it. If you give them that, the floor usually settles down.

I write about what actually happens on the floor and how to make it better. Follow along for free.

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